


Our Almost Second Chance

by aeragroa



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Mild Language, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21755524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeragroa/pseuds/aeragroa
Summary: Maya lay on her bed, sketching her version of Riley in London. She had done this particular piece many times in the last six months and each time it was different. When Riley had first moved, Maya’s sketches were very hopeful and excited. Riley, herself, took up about a quarter of the page. Now the sketches were much more lonely. A small girl in a big city that she didn’t quite understand, longing for home.Lucas moved to sit on the edge of her bed, “It’s your best one yet.”OR: What would happen if Topanga had taken that promotion in London?
Relationships: Isaiah "Zay" Babineaux & Isadora Smackle, Isaiah "Zay" Babineaux/Isadora Smackle, Katy Hart & Maya Hart, Katy Hart/Shawn Hunter, Lucas Friar & Maya Hart, Lucas Friar/Maya Hart, Riley Matthews & Farkle Minkus, Riley Matthews/Farkle Minkus
Comments: 40
Kudos: 139





	1. Prologue

It has been six months now. Six months since Riley and her family had moved to London for Topanga’s promotion. Six months since Maya had said goodbye to her best friend. Six months since Lucas’s first relationship had ended. Since months since the gang had lost their quirkiest friend and their favorite teacher. Six months since Katy Hunter had taken over “Topanga’s.” Six months since Maya had had to figure out how to move on.

Since Riley had left, Maya had talked to her almost every day. In fact, they talk almost as much now as they did when Riley was living in New York. Nevertheless, things are different. Riley doesn't know everything about Maya’s life anymore. It isn’t like Maya is deliberately keeping anything from Riley—they talk about almost everything under the sun. It’s just that there are some things a best friend learns before you do because they know you so well, things that are left unsaid and learned only through observation. Riley was really good at that, but Riley isn’t around anymore to tell Maya how she feels. Six months of trying to figure it out for herself.

During that time, Maya has gotten a lot closer with her mom and Shawn. Not being at the Matthews’ all the time helped a bit, she finally feels like they are becoming a real family. They’ve actually started to do real family-like things; they have family dinners, family movie/game nights, Maya even officially changed her name to Maya Penelope Hunter when the adoption was finalized. It’s very new for all of them, but they’re figuring it out together.

Unfortunately, Maya has noticed that she seems to be adjusting to her new normal better than Riley. Riley hardly ever talks about her new life in London. She never really mentions any new friends or how school is going, she only asks about Maya’s life. She wants to know every detail, which is nothing new, but her lack of commentary on herself has not escaped Maya’s attention.

Things amongst the friend group have changed, too. Farkle and Smackle broke up. Apparently it was mutual—like forces repel and all that stuff. Zay swooped in and started spending a lot of time with Smackle and now they are pretty much dating, only Smackle doesn’t like labels anymore so it’s just kind of a mutual understanding amongst everyone that Zay is just her person. They actually work really well together and Farkle is surprisingly okay with it. He says that they are just the right amount of opposites to make a good couple. Apparently he has been talking to Riley a lot about the whole situation and has decided that his relationship with Smackle was valuable in that they both learned a lot about how to love, but it was never meant to last. They still love each other, just not in that way anymore.

Another big thing that has changed since Riley left is Maya’s relationship with Lucas. Maya and Lucas were always pretty close friends during middle school, but the triangle changed everything. Things got awkward fast and, when Riley and Lucas became official, Maya was very careful to take a step back out of respect for her friend. However, now that Maya doesn't have to worry about making Riley uncomfortable, she has let down her guard around Lucas and allowed herself to become comfortable with him again. When Riley left, Maya lost her best friend and Lucas lost his girlfriend. They began to gravitate towards each other to fill the spaces in their lives that had been left empty in Riley’s absence. Sometimes, on those nights that Maya would have normally spent at the Matthews’ household, she will instead end up having dinner at Lucas’s. Whenever Maya, Katy, and Shawn need a fourth person for family game night, Maya will call Lucas, and it’s not uncommon for him to drop in on those movie nights either if the movie is a good one. Lucas often stops by Maya’s window whenever Zay is busy to do homework or just hang out.

This new dynamic between Maya and Lucas has not gone unnoticed by their friends, but it also isn’t seen as a big deal—especially in light of the whole Farkle/Smackle/Zay thing. It’s obvious that there has been a change, but it happened so slowly and casually that no one really thought anything of it. This is just the way things are now. That’s probably why no one ever thought to mention it to Riley.


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay! I have exactly 45 min before I have to go to work.” Maya said to her computer screen that was displaying Riley’s smiling face.

“That’s okay, Peaches. It’s starting to get late over here anyway.” Riley responded.

Ever since they started their sophomore year, it had gotten harder for them to find time to talk every day. Maya is very busy with art club and her new job working at “Topanga’s,” and the four hour time difference definitely didn’t help.

“How was your day?” Maya asked.

“Oh you know, same as usual. My writing class is getting hard because they speak different here. Oh! Remember that one weird girl I was telling you about from my science class? She stopped coming. I don’t know what happened but she doesn't show up anymore.”

Maya sighed. This was all she was going to get from Riley, they would spend the next forty minutes talking about her with Riley deflecting every question Maya throws at her. Still, Maya gave it a shot.

“Come on, that’s all I get? You live in London! That’s so cool! Do you ever just walk around and see the sights? And what about the camera Shawn gave you? Please tell me you are putting it to good use.”

“Yeah I mean, it’s okay here, but it’s really not all it’s cracked up to be. Mainly it’s just cold.”

“Well, at least make some cool English friends, if only for the sake of improving your awful British accent.”

“What do you mean?” Riley responded in her infamous British Riley voice. “I think my British accent is fabulous.”

“Oh God, oh God please stop,” Maya laughed.

Riley did stop, “So what about you? Did you have art club today?”

“No, not on Thursdays,” Maya said. “Today I have to go to work and then it’s homework central.”

“Ew!” Riley joked.

“I know. Thursdays are always the worst because essays are due on Friday.”

“Well, at least you don’t have to write in another language.”

“Riley, it’s not another language!” Maya laughed. The thing she missed most about having Riley around is how much this girl could make her laugh.

“Whatever. So, after work are you gonna do homework with everyone else?”

“Um, I don’t know. We don’t have any plans to meet up so I’ll probably just come back here and work on it.” Maya said, referring to her bedroom. Even as she answered Riley, Maya knew that Lucas would probably stop by later that night to work on their essays together. For whatever reason, Maya didn’t mention this to Riley.

The girls talked for another 30 minutes before Maya had to go.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Honey.”

“Okay, bye Peaches! Good luck on your essays.”

Later that night, after a very uneventful work shift, Maya laid on her bed, sketching her version of Riley in London. She had done this particular piece many times in the last six months and each time it was different. When Riley had first moved, Maya’s sketches were very hopeful and excited. Riley, herself, took up about a quarter of the page. Now the sketches were much more lonely. A small girl in a big city that she didn’t quite understand, longing for home.

“Are you even working on your essay?” The voice came from Lucas who was sitting on her floor, leaning his back against the bed.

“Of course I am,” Maya replied as her pencil shaded the edge of a tall building.

“Maya,” Lucas whined. He moved to sit on the edge of her bed. “It’s your best one yet.”

“You always say that.” Maya answered.

“That’s because it’s always true. Why do you keep drawing the same piece?”

Maya examined the drawing in front of her, “I don’t know it just… it never feels finished. It never feels… right. I guess I just want to get it right.”

Lucas was quiet for a moment, thinking about what Maya had said, “That makes sense,” he finally says, “I mean, she’s your best friend, she’s in a foreign place, you want to believe that she’s okay there without you."

“Okay Mr. Miyagi.” Maya quipped and Lucas pretended to be annoyed, “No, I know, you’re right. She just doesn’t tell me anything, you know? I mean we talk about plenty but she doesn’t tell me that she doesn’t have any friends or that she hates it there or anything like that.”

“So maybe she doesn’t hate it there. Maybe she does have friends.”

“Except that you and I both know Riley, if she makes a new friend the whole world hears about it.”

Lucas laughed, “You got me there. I’m just saying, unless she gives you a reason to worry you need to believe in her enough to believe that she’s doing fine.”

Maya rolled her eyes, “I hate it when you’re right.”

Lucas tipped his imaginary hat with a smirk, “Now can you please write this essay so that you don’t fail tenth grade? How far have you gotten?”

“Oh please,” Maya laughed, “I don’t even have a thesis.”

“Lord, help me.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Definitely bang Rachel McAdams, that’s a no-brainer.”

“Oh is it? Is it such a ‘no-brainer,’ Isaiah Babineaux?”

“Sorry sweetheart, you want all this to yourself, you gotta put a ring on it.”

Maya laughed at Zay’s teasing smirk. “I told you you wouldn’t like this game, Smackle.”

“Everyone said it was fun, but I did not anticipate the gross bubbly feeling I would get in my stomach hearing Zay talking about doing… _that_ to another girl.” Smackle said a bit uncomfortably, which only made Maya laugh more.

They were sitting in Topanga’s sipping on smoothies and splitting croissants. Ever since sophomore year started, it’s been harder for them all to find time to hang out together, so a few weeks into the semester they started this tradition. Every Friday after school they all hang out at Topanga’s together before Lucas and Zay have to go to football practice.

“Hey! Rachel McAdams is no _girl._ That is a _woman_!” Farkle said, clearly sharing Zay’s fascination with the red-haired movie star.

“Alright,” Lucas cut in from his seat at Maya’s right. “Look, if I had known this game would create such controversy I wouldn’t have suggested it.”

“Oh please!” Maya protested. “That is exactly why you chose this game, Sundance.” Lucas shot her an indignant look, but couldn’t find a fitting rebuttal.

“Come on, sweetheart. You know it’s all hypothetical. But that gross bubbly feeling you were talking about, I think it’s called jealousy.” Zay teased Smackle even as he put a reassuring arm around her shoulder. She just rolled her eyes, obviously not ready to admit that level of emotion for the smooth-talking Texan. Maya gave Lucas a look that said she knew exactly what response Zay’s comment was about to receive. Thankfully, Lucas caught her hint and spoke up first.

“As much as I’d love to hear Smackle tell us about how the concept of jealousy is really just a chemical reaction based on something primal and barbaric, we actually have to go, Zay.” The two boys finished off their smoothies and headed to practice, pausing to give both girls a kiss on the cheek as they did so.

“He was actually right.” Both Smackle and Farkle said at the same time as soon as Lucas and Zay left. Maya just tilted her head at the two.

“Tell me again why you guys didn’t work out.” They both opened their mouth to answer her before Farkle noticed the smirk she was trying to hide.

“Oh, shut it.”

Maya was about to throw back a retort when she saw Farkle’s eyes widen to the size of pizzas. She turned behind her to see what had caught his attention, and her breath caught in her throat.

“Wow, that happy to see me, huh?” Riley stood at the door of Topanga’s with a suitcase in hand. She was wearing a red raincoat, even though it wasn’t raining outside, and a very nervous smile. Her face relaxed when Farkle shot up from his chair and ran across the room to tackle her in the most Farkle-like hug there ever was.

“What are you doing here?” He asked into her hair since he had still not let go of the petite brunette. At his words Maya came back to herself and in a moment she was pushing Farkle off of Riley to get a hug herself.

Riley finally broke away from the two of them, laughing softly, “I missed you guys! My parents helped me get plane tickets a while ago but I wanted to surprise you. I hope you don’t mind if I stay with you for the weekend Maya, your mom already knows of course.”

Maya looked back at the pastry counter where her mother was smiling wide, no doubt proud of herself for keeping such a big secret from her daughter. Maya had to admit she was impressed, Katy was hardly ever able to keep anything from Maya. When Katy first started dating Shawn, Maya would wait up for her mom to come home and they’d discuss every detail over a cup of hot cocoa. As the couple started getting more serious, Katy’s briefing sessions with her daughter became a bit more vague, but Maya still heard all the important emotional stuff. She knew her mom loved Shawn way before he did. For Katy to keep Riley’s visit a surprise was a miracle.

“Wait, how long are you here for?” Maya turned back to Riley.

“Just the weekend, I fly back on Monday.” Riley said, “You guys are happy to see me, right? I’m not intruding or anything?”

“Are you kidding me!” Maya’s surprise finally subsided as her understanding of what was happening caught up with her. She gave Riley a smile that was only reserved for her, “Of course we are. You just really surprised us for a minute.” Maya laughed.

“Where’s Lucas?” Riley asked, looking behind Maya to where Smackle was sitting, politely smiling and allowing this reunion to run its course.

“Oh, he and Zay had football practice.” Farkle answered.

“Yeah, we usually go to the game, actually, if you wanna come and surprise them there.”

“Ooh that sounds fun! Maya you have to help me pick out what to wear.” Before Maya knew it, she was waving a hasty goodbye behind her at Smackle as Riley dragged her out the door and toward her apartment.

* * *

Maya sat on her bed chewing on a pencil as Riley tried on outfit after outfit. Currently she was asking Maya’s opinion about a dress with purple and black flowers on it.

“Honestly, Honey, I don’t know why you’re freaking out so much about this. Most people there are gonna be wearing green t-shirts with Abigail Adams’ face on it.”

“Ugh, green is so not my color,” Riley joked. Maya shot her a look and Riley sighed, “Because Maya, it’s the first time I’ll see Lucas in months and, I don’t really know how it’s gonna go.” Riley chewed on her lip.

Maya scrunched her eyebrows, “What do you mean? I thought you guys were cool. Don’t you like, write sappy letters back and forth and stuff?”

“Well, we did at first. But it’s actually really hard to keep up a letter correspondence. I don’t know how all those Jane Austen characters did it.”

“They didn’t,” Maya cut in, “at least not all of them. There’s always at least one crucial letter in the story that never gets sent and then a character finds it under a desk or something like that.”

“Anyway,” Riley said, bringing Maya back on track, “the letters kinda fizzled out after a while and we never really built the habit of texting regularly or anything like that. I think we talk maybe once a week and it’s normally when I text him to wish him a happy Monday or something stupid like that.”

“I’m sorry, Honey.” Maya said. She knew Lucas was never great about keeping in touch with people, his texts with her were normally three words or less, but part of her just figured that with Riley he had this natural romantic inside of him that only she was able to pull out. Not that Lucas’s three-word-texts ever bothered Maya, but Riley was much more of a three-paragraph-text kind of girl.

“It’s okay. We knew we weren’t built for long-distance, that’s why we broke up. I guess I just kinda miss having a boyfriend.” Maya thought that was a weird thing to say, but Riley just went back to fiddling with her dress, “Now will you please give me your opinion on my outfit?”

Maya snapped back to attention and studied the dress, “Add some sheer black tights and my purple combat boots and you’ve got a look on your hands.”

Riley scrunched her face as if she was about to disagree but after a moment she shrugged and went to Maya’s closet to find the boots. She decided to forgo the tights though, that was more Maya’s style.

“Isn’t it weird not to be at my place anymore? Just being back in this city and not having my bay window to go back to feels… wrong,” Riley mused.

“I don’t know,” Maya said. “It was definitely a weird adjustment, but I’ve grown to really appreciate my little window. I think with Shawn moving in and me not being at your place so much, this apartment has actually started to feel like home for my mom and I.”

Riley’s eyebrows creased at Maya’s confession. She looked a little… hurt.

“Not that I don’t miss your place! I definitely do,” Maya said quickly, “It’s just nice is all.”

Riley nodded, “I guess it’s silly to think things wouldn’t change when I left.”

Maya didn’t really know what to say to that because things had changed. A lot.

“Okay, your turn, what are you wearing?” Riley asked, all smiles again. Maya looked down at herself. She was still wearing her school clothes; a black tank top with a dark green canvas jacket, jeans, and her black combat boots with a slight block heel (yes, she had combat boots in every color, what about it?). 

Maya gave Riley a look that said _um this?_ and Riley just rolled her eyes. “Okay, suit yourself.”

* * *

Maya and Riley met Smackle and Farkle at the Abigail Adams football field only a few minutes late thanks to Riley’s continuous fussing with her hair. Maya was never a huge fan of football, and she knew that Smackle and Farkle barely understood the game, but coming to support their friends had become a fun ritual. Plus, whenever they got bored, they just made a trip to the concession stand (Maya’s favorite part of her Friday evenings had quickly become soft pretzels). Having Riley there wasn’t much different except that she kept asking questions about what was happening the entire time, as if the other three had any idea, but it was pretty entertaining once Maya started making up answers for her questions.

“What does ‘fourth and down’ mean?”

“It means they have four more chances to get the other team to surrender or they all have to fall down.” Maya chuckled at the thought that this was the girl who wanted so badly to be a cheerleader only the year before.

The game was pretty uneventful until the third quarter when the visiting team came within a field goal of catching up, but the Abigail Adams patriots prevailed, winning by 10. Zay had even gotten to play a bit in the second quarter and Maya knew he would be in a good mood when they saw him.

Smackle was the first to meet the boys when they finally exited the locker room, both still sporting wet hair from their quick showers. She congratulated Zay and he gave her a quick hug before looking over at Lucas when he realized that his friend had stopped moving.

Zay followed Lucas’s eyeline and burst into an even bigger smile when he saw Riley standing next to Maya a bit nervously, “Riles!” In an instant he had rushed over to her and picked her up into a huge hug that had her feet dangling a few inches above the ground.

Lucas was there next, smile just as wide but giving her a respectful amount of space unlike Zay, “When did you get here?”

“Right after you guys left for practice, actually,” Maya answered for her friend, knowing she was nervous and deciding to spare her from one of her signature “awkward Riley” moments.

“Wait, you saw me play, right?” Zay demanded. Maya had been right about his excitement.

“Yes, Zay, you did very well. You even made the other team do the ‘kick of shame,’ I’m very proud of you.”

“The what?” Zay squinted his eyes at Riley’s regurgitation of Maya’s insane football explanations, but Lucas didn’t let Riley explain.

“If we go get burgers right now I promise I’ll pay for everyone’s shakes. I might pass out if I don't get some food in me.”

“Hey, that’s good enough for me, Ranger Rick,” Maya laughed at Lucas’s dramatics. Definitely something that he had picked up from her and Riley.

* * *

“Lucas Deputy Friar, if you take one more fry off my plate I’m pouring this milkshake right over your head, I don’t care who paid for it!”

“Deputy?” Lucas laughed. “Is that really the best you could come up with?”

Maya raised her eyebrow, “I’m not kidding Huckleberry, I will do it.” She lifted her Oreo shake in the air a bit to emphasize her point and Lucas lifted his hands in mock surrender.

“Oh I know you will. Trust me, I remember our first date.” Maya rolled her eyes at him and glanced subtly across the table at Riley who had coughed a little at Lucas’s comment. In the past few months Maya and Lucas had become a lot more comfortable joking about all of the messed up shit that had happened between them during the triangle. It had been a necessary part of them learning how to be friends again. Farkle, Smackle, and Zay were all pretty used to it, Riley was not.

Maya suddenly became a little uncomfortable with the current dynamic of the table and decided it might be best if she calmed down a bit with her teasing of Lucas. She didn’t want to make Riley feel weird.

“So,” Riley had been a bit quiet, probably from nervousness about being around Lucas again, “Other than football and me being gone, what’s different about sophomore year?”

“Well, Maya’s vice president of the art club. Farkle and Smackle are co-secretaries of the science decathlon. Classes are a lot busier. That’s about it.” Zay answered in between bites of his burger.

“Why does science decathlon need two secretaries?”

“It doesn’t,” Maya answered for the two who had mouths full of fries and milkshake. “But apparently secretary was the only position open and neither of them would take it if meant the other wasn’t going to have it.” Maya rolled her eyes as she explained, remembering all the senseless drama it had caused at the time.

“Maya has an art show coming up!” Lucas chimed in and quickly choked on his shake when Maya hit him in the stomach. The whole table looked to her.

“I didn’t know that!” Riley said.

“Yeah, neither did we,” Zay cocked his head in question.

“I didn’t really want anyone to know,” Maya gave Lucas a very annoyed look and he winced in apology. She looked back down at her fries. “I’m not sure what piece I’m going to submit yet. I haven’t been able to finish one that I’m happy with so, you know, we’ll see.”

Lucas caught on to Maya’s discomfort and quickly changed the subject. Maya made a mental note to thank him later. “So Riley, are you gonna actually tell us anything about London, or are we just gonna have to keep imagining you riding around on mopeds and eating fish and chips in the rain?”

Riley laughed and began to talk a bit about London. All stuff Maya had heard before, how the city was old, the weather was a bit too muggy for her, there aren’t nearly as many phone booths as she expected. In all, it seemed Riley wasn’t too impressed with her new home; but Maya couldn’t help but notice she still didn’t mention any friends, or if she liked school, or how her family was doing. She didn’t say anything though, she’d tried to pry details out of Riley before to no avail and honestly, Maya was just ready to go home.

* * *

“Do you think Lucas still likes me?”

Maya groaned. That was the third time Riley had spoken when Maya was on the brink of sleep, “You do know that I have to work in the morning right?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just wondered… well, you’re around him a lot more than me now, obviously. I just wondered if you knew if he still had feelings. Or if he’s missed me at all.” Riley turned to face Maya, waiting for her response.

Maya sighed. She had a feeling this conversation was going to come up, she just wished it wasn’t at one in the morning, “Of course he misses you Riley, we all do. It was really weird when you first left, it took a while for us to know how to hang out without you.”

“That’s not what I mean, Maya. I mean, was it hard for him, especially? Like harder than just losing a friend?”

Maya didn’t know why, but this line of questioning was rubbing her the wrong way. Riley’s absence had been hard for them all, especially her, Lucas, and Farkle. But if anyone had had the hardest time, it had been her. Riley and Maya had been attached at the hip since they were six. It bothered Maya that all Riley seemed to care about now was Lucas. And more than that, it seemed that she was hoping he had been heartbroken. Maya would never wish heartbreak on anyone, not even for her own sake. Why did Riley want that type of affirmation?

She didn’t say any of this of course, “Um, yeah. I think so.”

Riley pondered Maya’s answer, “You’re right, I should probably ask Farkle or Zay. They're closer with him.”

Maya rolled her eyes, “Okay I’m going to sleep now. If you need to know something else, it’s gonna have to wait until morning.” Maya loved her friend, and she had missed her dearly, but being around her again was not as easy as she thought it would be. She had forgotten how Riley could sometimes say things without thinking about other people.


	4. Chapter 4

Since Maya had to work that Saturday morning, Riley texted the rest of the gang to meet them at Topanga’s again. Lucas and Zay didn’t respond at first, no doubt sleeping in after Friday night’s game. Maya found it near impossible to get those boys out of bed before 10am on a Saturday, especially during football season. Farkle called Riley and said he’d love to hang out, but he and Smackle had some things to take care of this morning in preparation for the science decathlon trip to Chicago. But he promised to make it up to her later with some chinese takeout. So that left Riley sitting at the counter alone, talking to Maya in between customers.

Katy had discretely offered Maya the day off to hang out with Riley, claiming she could hold down the fort on her own, but Maya declined. Despite what her mother said, Maya knew she was understaffed at the moment. And if she was being honest, she also didn't want to miss out on the paycheck. Lately, Maya had been talking to Katy about wanting to get serious about the possibility of art school after graduation, but that meant that she needed to start saving up if she wanted that to be a real option for her. That’s most likely why Katy made sure not to make the offer of the day off in front of Riley, knowing Maya might want to decline and then have to explain to Riley why. Riley wouldn’t have understood.

About fifteen minutes before Maya’s shift was over, Lucas and Zay finally showed up. Riley, who had been sulking over a piece of banana cream pie while Maya counted her register, immediately perked up.

“Lucas! Zay!” Riley spoke so quickly she forgot to swallow the enormous bite of pie she had shoved in her mouth, and promptly started choking.

“Whoa, easy there,” Lucas grabbed the glass of water sitting in front of Riley and handed it to her, and when she could breath again she gave him a smile that reminded Maya of the first time they had seen Lucas on the subway. It was the smile that had caused Maya to decide to step back and let her friend have this one. It was the smile that motivated almost every decision Maya made regarding Lucas thereafter. Almost.

Maya quickly looked away and muttered a curse under her breath when she realized she had lost count.

“Language, Maya.” Lucas joked.

“Oh save it, Rogers.”

“You know, I’m gonna take that one as a compliment.” Lucas smirked and Maya narrowed her eyes.

“Don’t. I was always more of an Iron Man girl.” Lucas just shrugged. Feeling victorious in this exchange, Maya went back to counting her register. When she was done, she clocked out and met her friends in front of the cafe.

“Ugh, I came here to escape the muggy weather,” Riley groaned as Maya stepped outside. “This is just my luck.”

Sure enough, not only was the wind cold enough for Maya to pull her jacket tight, but it was starting to drizzle. Maya had always loved this kind of weather, especially when the clouds were dark or a fog settled over the city. She often told Riley as much when she complained about London, but Riley insisted she’d hate it if it happened all the time. Maya wasn’t convinced.

“Okay, muggy weather you’ve got in London. Noted.” Lucas began, “What’s something you miss about New York that London doesn’t have?”

“Besides our beautiful faces, of course.” Zay teased.

Riley laughed, “Well, I miss my bay window, but that’s not something I could really go back to.” Maya remembered their conversation the night before and felt a twinge of guilt at not being sensitive to Riley’s homesickness.

“Oh! That thrift store we used to go to Maya!” Riley exclaimed.

“Really, a thrift store?” Maya asked. She could feel the boys tense, hoping that’s not where Riley would decide to drag them. Maya suddenly became very amused at the idea and hoped Riley would. Zay would try to make up an excuse to get them out of it, but Lucas would feel bad and jab him in the ribs with his elbow. In the end, Maya knew that they would both end up sitting in those purple chairs watching the girls try things on.

“Yeah, London fashion is not really my thing and I haven’t been able to find a nice shop out there that I like. I’m in desperate need of some new clothes.” Riley went on, oblivious to the increasing fear in Lucas and Zay’s eyes.

“Are you sure that’s really where you want to go today, Riley?” Lucas asked, cautiously.

“Of course it is!” Maya declared, leaving no room for Riley to pick up on Lucas’s meaning. “A girl’s gotta shop!”

She grabbed RIley’s hand and started dragging her in the direction of the shop just as Zay began his predictable protest. “Uh Riley, I just remembered that Lucas and I have to—Ow!”

Maya smirked. She knows these guys way too well.

* * *

A few hours and a few dozen outfit changes later, Riley left the thrift shop with a bag of new clothes and a satisfied smile. Maya had tried on a few things, but she didn’t really need any new clothes and, while she saw a jean jacket that she liked, she couldn’t justify spending the money. So after a while she joined the guys in their paper football game while they all waited on Riley to decide what she wanted.

The guys split up with them a bit later. Lucas’s mom apparently needed him home for some family thing and Zay promised Smackle he’d help her make banners for the science decathlon trip. The rain had started to clear up by then so Maya and Riley grabbed some street tacos and walked home.

“Street tacos. I definitely missed street tacos.” Riley said between bites.

“They don’t have tacos in London?” Maya asked, although not that shocked.

“Not like this,” Riley replied with very little amusement. Now that she was around her in person, Maya was finding Riley’s distaste of London very hard to ignore.

“Okay Riles, come on. What is it about London that makes you look like you smell rotten eggs every time we mention it?”

Riley looked at Maya, a little surprised by her direct approach. People who didn’t know them very well would never guess it, but direct confrontation was kind of Riley’s territory when it came to their friendship. Finally she sighed, “I don’t know Maya. It’s not any one thing it’s just… it’s not my home.”

Maya studied her friend, “What do you mean?”

Riley sighed and then continued, “That city, that school, the flat we live in; none of it feels right. It’s all new and different and… not mine. The only things in London that look familiar are my parents and Auggie. But even my mom is busy with her new job, and my dad is teaching at Auggie’s school now instead of mine. I just feel…”

“Alone,” Maya finished. She knew the feeling. “Riley, your parents and Auggie probably feel the same way, but they’re trying to embrace the change. I think as long as you keep comparing London to New York, you’re never going to find a way to be happy there.”

Riley pouted, that was obviously not the answer she had wanted to hear. Luckily, they reached Maya’s apartment just then and their conversation was interrupted by Maya’s neighbor Ramona wishing Maya a good afternoon on her way out to work. Maya smiled and returned the greeting as she entered the building.

“I’m still jealous that you’re so good at that.” Riley said as they climbed the steps to the fourth floor where Maya lived.

“What?” Maya asked half-heartedly as she rummaged through her bag for her keys.

“Speaking Spanish.” Riley said a bit bitterly. She never had quite gotten over that “C” her freshman year, and Maya had learned to avoid the topic altogether. She knew that it wasn’t just her “C” that had bothered Riley, but the fact that Maya had gotten an “A” in the same class, so she chose not to respond.

Instead she changed the subject, “So, you never showed me what you decided on.” She gestured to Riley’s bag of clothes and Riley excitedly launched into an explanation of every clothing item she chose and why, ultimately leading her to give Maya a full on fashion show. Maya laughed as Riley twirled and posed and the two couldn’t help but feel like they were back in middle school.

* * *

“Mom?” Maya answered her phone concerned. Her mother never called her, believing that texting was much more efficient and courteous.

“Hey baby,” Katy croaked. She did not sound good. “I need a favor.”

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing really I’m just—“ Katy stopped abruptly and Maya could hear what sounded like gagging noises over the phone. “I’m not feeling well. I know you’re hanging out with Riley but I need you to come close the café so I can go home.”

“Yeah, of course,” Maya had never seen her mom sick. Katy Hunter didn’t get sick. “Don’t worry about Riley, I’ll be right there.”

“Thank you, baby.”

Maya hung up the phone just as another round of gagging began. She ran back into her room from where she had taken the call in the kitchen, completely forgetting that she had gone in there to make her and Riley some hot cocoa.

“That was fa—“ Riley stopped when she saw that Maya wasn’t bearing hot cocoa, but throwing on her shoes and jacket. “What’s wrong?”

“My mom, I think she’s sick.” Maya said as she looked for her bag. Riley tossed it to her from where she was on Maya’s bed. “Thanks. She needs me to go close the cafe. Will you be—”

“Go, I’ll be fine. Farkle said he was gonna bring me over some chinese food.” Riley smiled and Maya was grateful for her second oldest friend and his elaborate gestures.

She ran out of the apartment door and was halfway down the first flight of stairs before she stopped herself and turned around, running back to her apartment to grab a pair of keys from a hook next to the door. They were to Shawn’s truck. When he first married her mom he said it was important that she know how to drive, and he taught her himself. The day she turned sixteen he took her to the DMV and helped her get her license. At the time she was just happy for the bonding experience, not ever expecting to need to drive in the city. But now she was grateful, because if her mom really was as sick as she sounded, Maya didn’t want her having to take the subway home. She was also grateful that Shawn was in Oregon this weekend for work, leaving his truck behind for her to use.

It was raining again and already starting to get dark, making it hard for Maya to drive; but eventually she made it to the cafe and ran inside, looking for her mom.

“Maya!”

Maya turned to see Stacy, another one of Katy’s employees who was just a few years older than Maya, pointing her toward the bathrooms in the back of the café. She nodded her thanks and left Stacy to deal with the impatient customer waiting for her attention. Maya gently knocked on the bathroom door that read “occupied.”

“Mom?” A few seconds later the door was opened a crack for Maya to see her mother sitting on the ground in front of the toilet bowl. She looked miserable. “What happened to you?”

“Ugh, I don’t know.” Katy groaned. “I haven’t been sick in years, I don’t know where this came from.”

“Okay, I need to get you home.” Maya said, reaching to help her mother up.

“No, Stacy just started a month ago, she doesn’t know how to close.”

Maya sighed. Katy took running the cafe very seriously ever since her best friend had entrusted it to her. Maya knew that when it came to this place, she was not going to get her mom to cave, “Okay, give me twenty minutes. I’ll close and then we’re getting you home.”

Twenty minutes later, on the dot, Maya had convinced all of the customers to leave with free pastries and completely closed the café, making sure to show Stacy exactly how it was done in case anything like this ever happened again. Once Stacy had left, she went back to the bathroom where her mom was already beginning to collect herself again.

“Okay, I think I can walk without barfing now,” Katy said, “but I don’t think I can handle the subway, we’re gonna half to walk home or call a cab.”

“No need,” Maya held up the keys to Shawn’s truck and her mother gave her a look. “What? He said I could use it if I needed to.”

Katy sighed, clearing not having the energy to argue, “I believe you.”

They walked outside and Maya locked the door behind her before showing Katy where she had parked the truck. Once they were back on the road Maya asked, “So, what should I do? Should I like, get you some soup or something?”

“Ugh, no. Not soup. Maybe some medicine, though? Like some anti-nausea stuff.” Color was slowly starting to return to Katy’s cheeks and it made Maya relax a little.

“Maybe you just got food poisoning or something?” Maya offered as she pulled over in front of a pharmacy.

“Yeah, maybe. But I never throw up, I haven’t thrown up since…” Katy didn’t finish her thought so Maya got out of the car.

“Do you want to wait in here?” She asked her mom before closing the door.

“Um, no. I’ll come in with you.” Katy said, unbuckling her seatbelt. The two ladies went in the pharmacy and Maya made a beeline for the back where she thought the anti nausea stuff might be. She searched a few aisles, but finally found something that promised relief within an hour.

“Okay this one should help.” Maya said before realizing that she was talking to herself. The only other person in the aisle was an older woman buying adult diapers and looking at Maya like she was the crazy one. Maya waved awkwardly and quickly left the aisle, looking for her mom. She found her a few aisles over, looking at a section of the shelfs like she’d seen a ghost, “Mom?”

“I haven’t thrown up since I was pregnant with you.” Katy said, and that’s when Maya realized what her mom was looking at. 

Pregnancy tests.


	5. Chapter 5

“Do you really think—“

“I don't know, Maya!”

“Okay, sorry! I’m just excited.” Maya and her mom had been sitting in the bathroom of the pharmacy for twenty minutes now and Katy had still not taken the test. Instead she was sitting on the floor, definitely not caring about how dirty it was, just staring at the pink box in her hands.

They had decided to take it here for three reasons. First, they didn’t know how many to buy so they just bought one and decided that if it said positive they’d buy another one to double check. Second, Riley was at their apartment and she would wonder what was going on. And third, they just couldn’t wait the entire ride home without knowing. Of course, they’d already be home by now if they had left when they first bought the test, but Maya didn’t mention that. Her mother was clearly freaking out.

“Look, I think you should just take it. It’s gonna take three minutes to show the results anyway and if by that time you still don’t want to know yet, just don’t look.” Maya said simply.

Her mom looked at her, uncertain for a moment before finally saying, “Okay.” She got up and went to the toilet and Maya turned around to let her do her thing. They were close now, but not that close. Katy finished with the test and set it on the edge of the sink before slowly backing up to the opposite wall as if to get as far away from it as possible. Maya set an alarm on her phone and thus began the painfully long three minutes.

Maya lasted about 20 seconds of anxious silence before she couldn’t take it anymore, “Can I ask you a question?” Katy seemed startled by Maya’s voice, but nodded. “Why are you so scared of being pregnant?”

“I’m not…” She began, but stopped when she saw Maya’s pointed look. She sighed, “It’s silly.”

“My best friend is Riley Matthews. I promise you, nothing you say is going to sound silly to me.” Katy laughed.

“I guess it has to do with your father. When he left me, he didn’t just leave me by myself, he left me with a kid to raise, all alone. And I don’t know that I did a great job.” Maya’s face softened as she began to understand. ”I guess until now I’ve just been telling myself that if Shawn left me, it’d be okay because I’d only have myself to put back together this time. But if I’m pregnant…”

“Oh mom…” Maya’s eyes burned as she tried not to cry in the face of her mother’s fears, and tears. Her dad leaving had shattered them both, and they’d worked hard to heal and accept the love Shawn offered them. They’d come so far, but the wedding was not even a year ago. It shouldn’t have surprised Maya that her mother was still having trouble believing it wasn’t too good to be true.

“Okay first, Shawn is not going to leave you. He’s not my dad, not even close. And I think that, if anything, he’s going to be thrilled if you’re pregnant. You know how into all that dad stuff he is.” Katy chuckled through her tears, “And second, even if he does prove me wrong, and he turns out to be a worthless piece of shit—“

“Maya!”

“Well, I’m hoping he doesn’t, dear God I’m hoping he doesn’t. But, even if he does, you won’t be alone.” Maya smiled sweetly at her mother even as they were both crying now, “You’ll have me.”

Katy’s tears multiplied at that as she hugged her daughter. “I could never let you carry that burden with me,” she said into Maya’s hair.

“Are you kidding me?” Maya pulled away from her mom and held her shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes, “That is _no_ burden. In fact, I’m gonna have so much fun with this kid, you’ll wish I would leave you, too.” Katy laughed and Maya was glad she could make her mom smile again.

Just then, the timer on Maya’s phone sounded. 

Maya looked at her mom, waiting to see what she wanted to do. Katy took a deep breath and gave Maya a small smile before slowly walking to the sink. She reached out carefully and picked up the test as if it might break if she moved too fast.

Maya didn’t have to wonder what it said as she watched her mom’s face grow into the biggest smile she’d seen since her wedding day.

* * *

The rest of the weekend felt like an eternity. Katy and Maya had decided not to tell anyone about the pregnancy until they could tell Shawn when he got back on Monday, but that wasn’t exactly easy for Maya who had Riley “The Meddler” Matthews staying in her room. Maya hated herself for it, but she was ready for her friend to leave. Besides being next to impossible to keep a secret from, she was also being very needy. Maya felt bad for being annoyed, she knew Riley had missed them and was having a hard time in London, but the things Riley chose to obsess over were starting to bother Maya for the first time in their friendship.

She couldn’t explain it, she had never been annoyed before. In fact, she had always thought of Riley’s passionate desire to fixate on things others would deem meaningless as a welcome relief from the heavy burdens of her own life. But this time, Maya’s burden wasn’t heavy. It wasn’t even a burden, it was very good news. Her family was about to grow. She was going to have a sibling, and the man that she felt so lucky to have as her new father was going to become even more solidified in her family.

So for some reason on Sunday night when Riley talked for the seventeen millionth time about Lucas and what Farkle had said last night about whether or not Lucas had missed her and did Maya agree with Farkle and should she talk to Lucas about trying long distance—Maya just could not find it in herself to listen anymore.

“Riley,” she stopped her friend mid-sentence, “You and Lucas broke up for a reason. You didn’t think long-distance was a good idea then, it’s not a good idea now either.”

“Why?” Riley asked, confused by Maya’s sudden opinion.

“Because Riley, it’s been six months and you’re still at the same place you were when you left. You guys have only exchanged a few letters, a few texts. Your relationship—your friendship—hasn’t progressed or even continued. But, neither of your lives has halted for six months. Individually you’ve continued to grow and change. You can’t just pick up where you left off, especially not long distance.”

Riley stared at Maya in shock, clearly not expecting that level of honesty from her friend who’s always had her back.

“I’m sorry Riles, I’m not trying to be hurtful—“

“No, you’re right,” Riley said, “I can’t escape the fact that your lives are moving on without me.”

“Riley, you are still a part of our lives,” Maya said. “Things are just a little different now, is all.”

Riley nodded half-heartedly and then said she was tired. She went to bed and Maya stayed up working on a math assignment she had forgotten to do in the midst of this crazy weekend. She was going to be exhausted in the morning.

* * *

Monday morning was just as miserable as Maya had predicted it would be. She woke up at dark o’clock to see Riley off to the airport, and then she had to finish the math homework that she had fallen asleep doing the night before. She was sad that Riley was going back to London, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t happy to have her room back to herself. And her routine. 

Routine had become something very important to Maya ever since her mom had married Shawn. Growing up she never had anything resembling normalcy in her life other than Riley’s house. But now that she and Katy were close again and Shawn had moved in with them, they were finding their new normal. It was something she didn’t know how to explain to Riley, but she was going to be very happy when Shawn got back that afternoon. Even happier when they got to tell him the good news.

She and her mom had tried to think of all kinds of creative ways to tell him, but they were too impatient to wait to do anything extravagant. They had finally decided they’d probably just put the pregnancy test in a gift bag or something and pretend they’d gotten him a gift. He normally brings Maya home something from his trips anyway, so it would work.

That morning at school drug on, and Maya’s venti vanilla cold brew wasn’t enough to keep her eyelids from feeling like lead. By the time she made it to art class, she was exhausted. She knew she needed to figure out a piece for the art show, but she could barely focus on the paintings she’d already been working on. There was a painting of “Topanga’s” from the night Topanga had told everyone she was taking the promotion and moving to London. It was almost complete, but Maya didn’t think it was right for the art show. It just felt, sad. There was a sketch of the view outside of her bedroom window. Maya loved it. She though about just turning it into a watercolor and displaying it, but that didn’t feel good enough either. She also had a few impressionist pieces she had been working on, but they weren’t quite turning out how she’d hoped. Except one, but that was going to be Lucas’s Christmas present and she didn’t want anyone seeing it before then. For the art show, she wanted to show something with meaning, a piece that truly represented her.

“Still having trouble coming up with something?” 

Maya turned to see Mr. Jackson standing behind her. She had spent the first few minutes of class just staring at her works in progress in the art closet. Yeah, she was tired, “Sorry, um... yeah.”

Mr. Jackson looked at her a moment, “I think you’re thinking too hard about this.” Maya looked at him in question. “You’re an intuitive artist Maya, you don’t just paint what you see or think, you paint what you feel. My suggestion, start over, and don’t think about what you’re going to paint before you start. Just close your eyes, and think about what you’e feeling.”

Maya was skeptical, and it must have shown on her face because Mr. Jackson said, “What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not good?”

He was right, it was worth a shot. So maya grabbed a blank canvas and a wide palette of colors and went to her station. She sat down and closed her eyes like Mr. Jackson said. What was she feeling? Tired, for one. But that wasn’t the emotion she wanted to pour into this painting. What else was she feeling?

She sat still and quiet for a few moments before she found what was buried beneath her exhaustion; excitement. She started painting. She didn’t think about what she was painting, just about the emotions she wanted to convey. How she was really feeling deep inside ever since her mom had gotten married. All of the things she was careful not to voice for fear of losing them. She felt love, belonging, and safety. She felt that she’d finally found all of the things that she had envied in Riley’s life. And as she painted she used every color but one, purple. Because this was a painting of her life, her family, and the thing that she was finally beginning to find again, her voice.

The bell rang and everyone else left to go to lunch, but Maya stayed. She wanted to finish this today. She worked through lunch. Grabbing blues, yellows, reds and greens with the tip of her brush and layering them on top of each other.

As she worked, she relived the memories that had led her to this painting. She remembered when she first met Shawn, and the unfamiliar feeling that came with being understood. She remembered when Shawn went to meet her mom on her fourteenth birthday, and the relief she felt that night when they walked through the door together after she was sure Shawn had been driven away for good. And then finding out that her mom was just like them, that she had gotten left, too. That was the night that she and her mom began to have a real relationship again, thanks to Shawn. It was also the night that she first felt hope. A hope that she once feared, but was now fully blossomed in her chest.

She continued to paint and remember. She remembered her mom’s first date with Shawn, and how incredibly uncomfortable they both seemed at first. Maya was sure it was over then; but her mom came home that night and couldn’t stop smiling, and Maya realized she must have missed something. She remembered when Shawn gave her his first shot at fatherly advice, and she decided that it wasn’t so important to her anymore for people to be afraid of her. She remembered Shawn telling Maya that he and Katy were a team, and anything he gave her came from the both of them. She had only ever seen that before in Cory and Topanga, and it made her happy for her mom, that she’d found someone who makes sure that she is recognized for all of her hard work. So Maya kept painting, those memories in mind.

About halfway through lunch, she realized what she was painting, but she remembered Mr. Jackson’s advice and tried not to let it affect how she moved the brush or what colors she chose. She was almost done when she felt Lucas step in the room, “I knew I’d find you here.”

“Don’t come any closer,” Maya didn’t even look up, but she knew that Lucas would obey. It wasn’t uncommon for her to want to keep a painting hidden until she had finished it, but this time it wasn’t out of insecurity.

“You need to eat something at least,” Lucas sat on a stool a few feat in front of her, but held out an apple.

“I had coffee,” Maya replied absentmindedly before returning to chewing on the corner of her lip as she always did when she was concentrating.”And you… are… distracting me.”

“I’m just trying to keep you from taking the whole starving artist thing a little too far,” Lucas said simply. Maya held her hand up for him to stop talking while she studied the colors in front of her and the last spot on her painting that was missing something.She closed her eyes again, searching, remembering what this painting was about.

Safety. Security. Acceptance.

Blue. Just a touch of blue to make it complete.

Finally, Maya stepped back and looked at what she’d painted. Her eyes burned as tears threatened to spill and she blinked them away.

“Maya,” Lucas sounded concerned, it was rare to see Maya emotional, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Maya looked at Lucas and smiled, a real genuine smile of joy.

“Is it done? Can I see it?”

“Not yet,” She was sorry to disappoint him, but there was someone else who needed to see this first.

Maya pulled out her phone and texted her mom: 

**Scratch gift bag idea. I have something better.** ****

And then, just to ease Lucas’s mind, she took the apple from his hand and took a huge bite before shooing him out of the room so she could set her painting to dry under the heat lamps.

* * *

“So, did Riley make it on her flight okay?” Lucas had waited outside of the art room for Maya so that he could walk her to her next class. And most likely to make sure she finished the apple.

“Yep,” Maya said, mouth full. “Left at the butt crack of dawn.”

“Oh, that’s fun,” Lucas chuckled. Very aware of Maya’s disdain for having to wake up early.

“Yeah, well, it gave me time to finish the math homework I didn’t get to do this weekend.” Maya took her last bite of the apple and tossed it in a trashcan as they passed. Before she had even finished chewing, Lucas was handing her a granola bar. She gave him a look.

He simply said, “Protein.” She rolled her eyes.

“So you actually finished the math homework?” Lucas teased and Maya pretended to be offended.

“Don’t give me that look!” Maya casually elbowed Lucas’s arm, “I’m trying to get my grades up and it’s all your fault. All your talk about not getting in my own way and limiting my opportunities hardy harr harr harr.” One thing Maya had definitely missed since the Triangle fiasco—making fun of Lucas’s accent.

He chuckled, “Hey, I’ll take the blame for that one.”

“Well, I thought I had all weekend to work on it until Riley got here. In case you’re wondering why I look like a zombie.”

“Wait, you didn’t know she was coming?” Lucas asked.

Maya looked at him curiously, “Did you?”

“No, but I just assumed that you had. Riley and I don’t really talk that much anymore.”

“Yeah, I heard,” Maya only realized how annoyed her comment sounded after she said it, so she rushed to amend, “I mean, Riley said something about that.”

It didn’t help, Lucas looked worried, “Was she complaining about me being bad at communicating? I try Maya, but sometimes I don’t really know where we stand and I’m afraid I can’t live up to what she expects of me.”

“No, no.” Maya assured. She should have just kept her mouth shut, “She wasn’t mad at all. She was just talking about it a lot, you know how Riley gets.”

“Okay,” Lucas looked relieved, “it was nice to see her again.”

“It was,” Maya smiled. Lucas looked like he wanted to say something else and Maya raised an eyebrow.

“Am I a terrible person if I say that it was weird?” Lucas winced as he asked.

Maya sighed, “If you’re terrible, I’m worse. She stayed in my room and by this morning I was just ready to get my space back.”

“What happened to us?” Lucas asked, “It’s never been weird before. And you two used to spend every waking moment together.”

Maya and Lucas made it to Maya’s math class and stopped outside the door.

“I think we changed.” Maya shrugged, “We adjusted to a new normal.”

Lucas considered Maya's words for a moment before nodding, “We had to.”

The bell rang and Lucas left for athletics while Maya entered her math class, ready to count down each minute until the end of the day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't normally add author's notes but it's been almost a year since I updated so I'd like this to be my official apology to all of the readers that were kind enough to leave comments and kudos. This story started as a little drabble I wrote one day when I was procrastinating studying for my finals. I didn't outline a plot because I never expected anyone else to see it, but then I found it in my drafts one day and was kind of proud, so I thought I'd put it out there. I didn't really know if there was a Lucaya fandom still around to read it, but when I realized I was wrong I wanted to really make this story good. Anyway, as we all know 2020 has been the year from hell and once I got stuck on a chapter I never ended up finding the time to go back to it. So here I am, a year later in finals week again and procrastinating my other work by opening this project back up. It's always been one that I wanted to finish ever since I realized other people might want to read it, so I'm going to! And this time I'm going in with a plan. Anyway, this chapter is for Angel, becausewhyknotme, Fabulous_as_FCUK, Wow, 5StarPlaty, mhernandez5, thylionheart, NeverGonnaGetIt, and Samiza. Thank you for the love and I hope you like it! I'm sorry it was such a long time coming.

* * *

“Maya, will you please tell me what your plan is? He’s going to be here any minute!”

“No!” Maya said for the fourth time in the past ten minutes. “I told you, it’s a surprise for both of you.”

“I just want to make sure—“

“Trust me, mom, he’ll get it.” Maya hoped she was right as she finished stirring the hot cocoa into the two cups she had made for her and her mom. It was her attempt to get her mom to relax instead of running around the apartment looking for one more thing to clean.

Katy reluctantly took the mug when Maya offered it to her, trading it for the duster in Katy’s hand. She collapsed on the couch, “I’m nervous.”

“Really?” Katy cut Maya a look at the sarcasm. “Sorry, I get it.”

Maya was trying to find the right words to reassure her mother for about the fiftieth time when they heard keys jangling in the front door. Katy shot up from the couch, sloshing her hot cocoa onto her shirt. She gasped and looked down at the brown stain on her white shirt and looked back up at Maya, tears brimming.

“Okay, okay,” Maya jumped into action, taking Katy’s mug and shooing her into her bedroom. “Change your shirt, I’ll distract him.”

Maya ran over to the door and quickly locked the bottom lock on the knob. They never locked that one so she knew Shawn wouldn’t think to unlock it. Sure enough, she heard him try to open the door. While he fiddled with his keys again to unlock the bottom lock, Maya reached up and re-locked the dead bolt on the top. He tried to open the door again and Maya was pretty sure she could hear him curse under his breath when it didn’t open.

“Hurry up,” She sing-songed under her breath, hoping her mom wasn’t being indecisive about what to change into.

Shawn unlocked the top again, and Maya re-locked the bottom. She could feel his patience snap through the door as he tried to open the door again, “Maya! I know you’re in there.”

He started banging on the door and Maya would have found his frustration a little funny had she not been so worried about him being in a good mood when they told him the news. Thankfully, her mom called from her room, “Okay, I’m ready!”

Maya unlocked the door and swung it open with the most Maya-like smile on her face, “Shawn, hey! Sorry, I didn’t hear you at first.”

Shawn looked at her suspiciously and she gave him a smirk that dared him to question her. Finally, he smiled, “Come here, kiddo.”

She let her smile break too and gave him an “I would never tell you this but I missed you” hug.

“Shawn,” Katy said from behind her. Maya let go and turned to see her mother smiling at him. It was a smile laced with relief. Shawn met her in the middle of their dining room with a kiss that had Maya looking away and pretending not to notice. Sometimes she still couldn’t believe that Riley’s crazy plan to make Shawn her dad had actually worked, but it was moments like this that Maya was grateful for her crazy friend and her crazier ideas.

Katy pulled back laughing and started to say something about “not in front of the kids” before catching herself, and the panicked look Maya through her.

“—I mean, Maya, you know…” Nice coverup. Shawn looked at Katy strangely and she quickly tried to change the subject. “Maya didn’t you have something to show us?”

Maya could feel the excitement bubbling up from her stomach and she was sure it was arriving at her face in the form of a ridiculous smile, but she didn’t care. Something good was finally happening for her family. Something wholly theirs. Normally, Maya shared good news with her friends first, but not this. This was a moment just for her family. 

Maya went to her room to get the painting she had made that morning. It was as large as her torso. The canvas had barely been dry at the end of the school day, but she had managed to get it home without damage.

She carried the painting into the living room where Katy had made Shawn sit down, careful to face it away from their curious eyes. At the sight of the canvas, Shawn’s face lit up. He always got so excited when she shared her artwork with him, and Maya teared up a little looking at that face. If she cried tonight, she was definitely going to blame it on proximity to her mom’s pregnancy hormones.

Maya stood in front of her parents. _Her parents_ , but not just hers anymore.

“Well, are you gonna keep us waiting all night?” Shawn joked, but Katy didn’t laugh. Actually, Maya was pretty sure Katy wasn’t breathing.

Slowly, Maya turned the painting around.

Shawn’s first reaction was to smile, just like he always did when he saw her art. But the smile faltered as he searched her painting.

Up close, it’s a mess of color. Visually appealing, but disorganized and seemingly without purpose. But when you look at the entire painting, a picture emerges. A family portrait. Katy is soft and pink, in the center of the canvas. Though her face isn’t clear, one can imagine she’s laughing. Beside her, and more solid, Shawn is green. Maya stands on the other side of her mother. She is yellow, but her edges are tapered with every color of the rainbow. Okay, so maybe she did use a little purple, but Maya would be lying to herself if she pretended Riley hadn’t influenced her at all. People change people, right?

But Maya knew what had caught Shawn’s attention. There, in the middle of the portrait, was a spot of silvery white that seemed to glow outward from her mother’s lower abdomen. It looked like hope. 

Maya had always thought that purple was the color of hope, because that was what Riley had always been for her. Or more accurately, Riley had always been a beacon for Maya, leading her to where the hope in her life really was. But their relationship had grown and changed since middle school. They’d had fights and made mistakes and didn’t always agree on everything anymore, but they’d grown stronger because of it. And thanks to a lifetime of being Riley’s friend, Maya had learned how to find the hope in her life herself. She’d learned that it didn’t always come from one place or one person, but it was always there if you knew how to look. And right now, Maya’s biggest hope was that they would gain Shawn in a way they could never lose him. And that the four of them would become more of a family than any pseudo-family she’s ever had.

Maya knew who Shawn was, and she believed everything she had told her mother the day before in the pharmacy bathroom, but she couldn’t help but hold her breath as she watched his face. She knew he would understand what they were trying to tell him. If it were anyone else she would be concerned, but he was the one person that she never had to explain her art to. And she could tell he understood, for better or for worse, when his face paled.

It was silent for so long that Maya was starting to worry when Katy began to cry, “Mom?”

“It’s beautiful, baby.” Katy looked at Shawn who hadn’t reacted at all except for a look of what Maya hoped was shock and not horror.

“What is this?” His eyes didn’t move from the painting.

All the nervousness Katy had felt all day was now beginning to settle on Maya as she answered her step-father in an uncertain voice, as if she didn’t know what she had painted, “A family portrait.”

Finally Shawn looked up at Maya, “When?”

She understood his question, but still couldn’t read his face. Katy was the one to answer, “Now.”

Shawn turned to Katy and Maya watched as the realization settled on her step-father. He looked from his wife’s face, to her stomach, and back to her face. “Are… are you sure?”

Katy nodded, “Three tests sure.” She pulled one out of her pocket and handed it to her husband. It was as if she and Maya switched places, because just as Katy’s nervousness had spread to her daughter, she was now displaying the same calm confidence that Maya had felt before Shawn walked through the door. Maya couldn’t help but think that was good in a mother.

“Is that okay?” Maya couldn’t help but ask. The silence was killing her. 

It was like Maya’s question broke Shawn out of a trance because he looked at her a let loose a disbelieving laugh, “Of course it’s okay!” He looked back to his wife, “It’s more than okay it’s…”

Katy didn’t give him time to find the word he was looking for before she jumped into his arms, crying again, but laughing too.

“It’s perfect,” he said into her hair.

Maya watched her parents embrace and wiped away a happy tear of her own before they could see and tease her about it until she graduated.

The rest of the evening was one that Maya hoped she remembered forever. After a half hour of Shawn asking Katy questions that she didn’t have the answers to because, as she said, she only found out yesterday and wanted him to be at the first doctor’s visit, the girls finally made Shawn tell them about his trip. It was hard to get him to focus after the big news, but he did remember to give Maya her gift, a sweatshirt from the National Park he visited.

“Maybe now you’ll stop stealing mine?” He teased. Maya blushed.

“Yeah, that’s my job!” Katy joined in, “Especially now that I won’t fit into any of my clothes.”

Maya laughed as Katy groaned at the thought of being nine months pregnant again, and they spent the rest of the evening talking about baby-related topics while Shawn taught Maya how to cook spaghetti. Katy tried to help but Shawn had jumped into the protective baby-daddy role very quickly, making her sit at the table and drink the hot cocoa she didn’t get to before.

He asked her more questions as he and Maya cooked, this time less specific about this pregnancy, and more what he should expect based on Katy’s experience with Maya. It was clear that he was excited, and Maya recalled what he had said when she’d first met him about seeing Cory’s face the first time he held Riley. Maya could tell then that he’d always wanted to know that feeling, and while she knew he saw her as his very own, she was excited that with the new baby he’d get to be there for the years he’d missed with her.

By the end of the night they’d decided that they needed a bigger place. Katy said she expected the baby to stay in their room for the first few months, but after that he or she would need their own space, and Maya’s room just wasn’t big enough to double as a nursery. Shawn didn’t like the idea of moving apartments with a new baby, so he told Katy he’d start looking at places in the morning. It was something Maya’s parents had been talking about since they’d gotten married, and clearly it was time, but Maya was going to be sad when she had to say goodbye to this apartment. Luckily, she didn’t have to worry about that tonight. Tonight was for eating spaghetti and laughing and making fun of Shawn snorting hot cocoa out of his nose when Katy said something he found particularly funny.

Maya always loved when they were like this. Shawn was home and Katy had that spark in her eyes that only he could conjure. In a few minutes Shawn would realize what time it was and freak out about having kept Maya up too late on a school night, as he always did on the nights he returned from a trip. Maya would whine about how she wasn’t even tired (untrue) and beg for ten more minutes, which she would never get. Finally she’d go to bed thinking about how grateful she was for her little family of three. Adding a fourth would mean change to their little routine, but just the kind of good change that had been happening to them ever since Shawn stormed into the Nighthawk Diner with a bone to pick with a particular blonde waitress. Yes, tonight was a good night, but Maya fell asleep knowing there were many more to come.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the longest one I've written, so hopefully it was worth the wait. Also, I've loved hearing the feedback you guys have on my story, so if anyone has suggestions for a scene they'd like to see, let me know! Specifically a particular setting/scenario. The show only has like five sets but that's boring so I'm trying to broaden the world of the characters a bit. But don't worry, I do know where this story is going and have an overall plotline, I just have a lot of scenes that I'm still plotting out.
> 
> In addition to scene suggestions, I would LOVE to hear your song suggestions for gmw characters/relationships. I get writing inspiration from songs (if you want a sneak peak for this story go listen to gold rush by Taylor Swift with Lucaya goggles). So if you have any songs that always make you think of gmw characters or ships, drop them in the comments!

* * *

The day after Maya and Katy told Shawn about the pregnancy, Maya woke up feeling good about herself. It felt like one of those days where her hair did exactly what she wanted it to and her outfit came together perfectly. She even had a little fun with her makeup because Shawn made them all breakfast, giving her more time to get ready. But Maya knew it wasn’t really about any of those things. She had a confidence that wasn’t coming from her appearance, but from the knowledge of everything she had poured into that painting. Safety. Security. Acceptance.

Her family was fuller than it had ever been and for once it wasn’t because Cory said something that made her realize he saw her as a second daughter. Or because Topanga and Katy were becoming friends so when Maya went over to the Matthews for dinner Katy was already there. Or because Maya was invited along on a trip the Matthews were taking to visit Shawn. She was grateful for those times, and for the Matthews’ role in her life. They had gotten Maya, Katy, and Shawn to a place that they all would have been too scared of if they hadn’t had their best friends pushing them along. But now they didn’t need to be pushed anymore, and that realization was the little boost of confidence that had Maya trying a glittery smokey eye that morning.

Not that Maya didn’t need Riley. She most definitely did. In fact, the only falter in her step came from the fact that she hadn’t heard from her best friend yet that day, which was strange. She normally woke up to a “Good morning, Peaches!” text due to the time difference. But Maya shook it off as Riley being tired from her flight the day before, and walked into homeroom with the swagger she was feeling.

“Maya,” Zay greeted her. “You look awfully chipper for 7am. Is a few days really all it takes for Riley to wear off on you?”

Maya rolled her eyes and took a seat, “Don’t get used to it. I’m just having a good hair day.”

Lucas slid into his seat behind Maya, “Is that really a thing? Like, do you actually have bad hair days or is it just something girls say?”

Maya turned around and rested her elbow on Lucas’s desk, “Aw Huckleberry, I’m flattered when you don’t notice my flaws. Makes me think we could have had something.” That comment earned an eye roll from Zay, Farkle, and Smackle, but Lucas just chuckled and opened his history book.

It was around lunchtime that Maya really started to worry about Riley. She had sent her three texts and hadn’t heard anything back. If it were anyone else, Maya would have assumed they were busy or without their phone, but Riley was famous among their friend group for her quick replies. It was rare for her to ignore a text, let alone three. If anything, that was Maya’s forte.

“Okay, what’s up,” Lucas finally asked as Maya was plopping a spoonful of mashed potatoes onto her tray. “You were in a good mood this morning and now you haven’t said a word since we reached the cafeteria, even though it’s sloppy joe day.”

Maya handed Lucas the mashed potato spoon, “It’s nothing, just… have you heard from Riley today?”

Lucas shook his head, “But that’s not really uncommon for me. Why?”

“She hasn’t responded to me all day. Usually by this point we’ve had three conversations about what she thinks I should wear to my art show or something like that.”

Lucas laughed, but Maya shot him a look that said this was very serious, “Sorry. Well, have you heard from her since she left?”

Maya nodded and grabbed a roll, “Just that her plane landed and she was tired so she was going to bed early.”

They headed toward their table where Zay and Smackle were already sitting. “She’s probably still tired. I’ve heard it takes a day to recover from each time zone you cross while traveling. And she crossed five.”

“Yeah,” Maya half-heartedly agreed while they sat down to join their friends.

“Lucas,” Zay almost sighed in relief. “Please explain to our dear Smackle that Jazz is not something that can be understood by science. It must be felt, in the soul.”

“I believe that everything can be understood by science,” Smackle said in her matter-of-fact way. “Including the concept we refer to as ‘the soul.’”

Zay sighed and looked at Lucas with pleading eyes, “I don’t know, Smackle. I have to agree with Zay on this one. I think there will always come a point where you can’t explain anymore, and you just have to choose to believe in something.”

Smackle pondered this while Maya smiled, remembering the time back in eighth grade when Lucas explained to her why he prays. It was something that he and Riley had in common, but she had never understood it when Riley tried to explain. It had always felt like a luxury Riley had that Maya wasn’t allowed. But when Lucas spoke about prayer, and about believing in something that you can’t see or explain, it sounded so beautiful. Not that she had really understood it then either, but it felt like something she wanted to be a part of, and _could_ be a part of. She still looked out her window every night before bed and prayed for everyone she could see. Riley says eventually she’ll learn how to pray for herself, but she’s not so concerned about that. She already knows she has people like the Matthews and the Friars praying for her, she’d rather put her prayers toward someone who might not have such good friends.

Finally, Smackle responded to Lucas, “I’m interested in your hypothesis, but I’ll need further evidence before I can draw a conclusion.”

“Evidence of what?” Farkle asked, sliding into his seat next to Zay.

Lucas just laughed at Smackle's ability to completely miss his point while Zay sighed in defeat, “Forget it.”

Smackle looked to her not-boyfriend, confused about what she had done wrong. He just rubbed her arm as if to say, “It’s okay, I still love you,” which seemed good enough for her as she turned her attention back to her food.

Farkle was still confused, and opened his mouth to ask more questions, but Maya beat him to it, “Hey Farkle, have you heard from Riley today?”

“Just a good morning text, nothing more than that,” He picked up his sandwich, ready to dig in.

Maya tried to hide her hurt at not having received a good morning text herself. After all, it wasn’t fair to expect Riley to initiate all of their interactions, even if she was five hours ahead. “Well, isn’t that unusual, to only hear from her once?”

Farkle shrugged, a mouth full of sloppy joe. He waited to speak until he swallowed, “I guess, but I’ve been really busy today so I haven’t really texted her either.”

Maya sighed. She was starting to wonder if Riley was avoiding just her texts, or if it was something she was doing to everyone, but Farkle’s story wasn’t helping narrow it down. Except the good morning text… Was Riley mad at her for something? Maybe she shouldn’t have told her what she really thought about all the Lucas talk on Sunday.

Zay and Farkle were now talking about the new X-Men movie they were trying to convince Smackle to see with them on Saturday, but Maya wasn’t paying attention. She felt Lucas’s hand touch hers gently.

“You okay?” He mouthed.

She nodded and offered him a reassuring smile which he returned before joining the conversation. Maya didn’t bother to get involved. She knew they’d end up seeing the X-Men movie and Zay would spend the whole time explaining what was happening to a very confused Smackle while Lucas threatened to hurt Farkle if he spoiled anything. The same thing had happened with a Spiderman movie just the month before.

* * *

“I’m just saying, if she were mad at me, how would I even know?” Maya explained to Lucas as they exited the subway at the stop near his house.

“You’d know, Maya,” Maya still hadn’t heard from Riley, and Lucas had been trying to talk her down from her worry ever since they left the high school. “She’s your best friend. You would know.”

“Would I? Because ever since she moved to London she doesn’t really talk to me about these things,” Maya sighed. She was starting to feel a little hurt by Riley’s behavior, but also a little guilty. “And then I have her in town for a couple of days and I don’t even try to get information from her. And worse, I snapped at her when she _was_ talking to me because I was tired of hearing about the same thing.”

“What same thing?”

Maya realized too late that Riley probably wouldn’t want Lucas knowing about that part, “Uh, just girl stuff, that’s not the point. The point is that she’s definitely mad at me.”

They exited the subway station and started heading toward Lucas’s house. It had become a ritual that the second night after Shawn got home from a trip, Lucas would invite Maya over for dinner so she could have an excuse to give her parents some space. As excited as Maya was to have Shawn home and aware of their big news, she figured that he and her mom could probably use some alone time. By this point, Lucas’s mom always knew when to expect Maya, and more importantly what dishes Maya liked best.

“Would you like to call her?” Lucas offered, still trying to help resolve Maya’s Riley problem.

“Ew,” Maya made a face, “who calls?”

“I do!” Lucas said rather defensively. “It’s more personal.”

“Okay, Sundance. You can put away the etiquette rule book, we’re not quite to your mom’s house yet.”

“You love my mom.”

“I do.” Maya conceded.

“Okay, well if you’re not going to call her then I really think you shouldn’t worry about it. It’s already getting late there so there’s nothing else you can do today, and you don’t want your bad mood to ruin pizza night.”

Maya perked up, “It’s pizza night? But it’s not even Friday.”

Lucas smirked, “There was a sale at Trader Joe’s. My mom bought all the garlic herb pizza dough you can dream of.”

Maya huffed, “You should have told me this sooner, Ranger Rick. We’re walking too slow!”

Lucas let her drag him all the way to his apartment.

When they arrived, Alice Friar was already prepping the ingredients on the kitchen counter so that Maya and Lucas could make their own pizzas. Maya bound through the door, pulling Lucas by his shirt. 

“Mama Friar!” Maya had first met Alice in seventh grade when she and Lucas had been paired up for the muffin project. They instantly hit it off and, at the time, got along better than Maya and Lucas did. Maya and Lucas were a lot closer now, but he still felt like a third wheel whenever Maya was around his mother. He didn’t mind though.

“Maya,” Alice greeted the blonde with a smile, but held out her hand before Maya could enter the kitchen. “Wash your hands first.” 

She pointed to the hall bathroom and Maya and Lucas both responded with yes ma’ams before obeying. Maya would never admit it to Lucas, but she quite enjoyed the southern manners that were expected in the Friar household. She admired how Lucas respected his parents, even when he didn’t agree with them or like what they were saying. Growing up, that wasn’t an attitude that was present in Maya’s relationship with her parents. She was so used to being let down by her parents that she didn't know how to trust them, much less respect them. A lot had changed in the past few years, especially after Shawn came into her life and helped her realize everything her mother did for her. But if Maya was honest, it was witnessing Lucas’s relationship with his parents that made her reconsider her own attitude toward her mother. And when she realized they might have a chance to be a real family with Shawn, she became determined to play the role of respectful daughter well. It was still something she was working on, but she finally felt that she could trust them, and it was a relief.

“Are you really going to put pineapple and olives on the same pizza?” Lucas teased her as he topped his own pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms.

“At least I’m not boring.”

“You both need to expand your pallets,” Alice said as she piled bell peppers on top of her already overloaded pizza crust.

Maya chuckled, “That’s probably true.”

“How do you do that?” Lucas asked his mom. “How do you get her to agree with everything you say? I can’t even get her to agree with me on one thing!”

“Try being right about something, Huckleberry!”

Alice rolled her eyes as the two argued. “I’m right about a lot, and you know it! You’re just too stubborn to ever admit it.”

“Name one time!”

“The Farkle and Smackle thing, I called it.”

Maya rolled her eyes, “Oh congratulations, Ranger Rick! You predicted the failure of our friends’ relationship. Who was the one who said Zay was gonna swoop in afterward? You thought I was crazy for even suggesting Zay and Smackle.”

“You have to admit that Smackle falling for _Zay_ was a bit of a surprise.” Lucas emphasized Zay’s name as if it was obvious why he believed they wouldn’t end up together.

“Not really,” Maya sing-songed. “Maybe Smackle’s right. You’re just jealous and can’t understand how Zay won her over after she rejected _you_ so many times.”

“Oh, yeah,” Lucas laughed. “I endured all the misery of our love triangle because the girl I _really_ wanted was Smackle, but she turned me down.”

Maya shrugged innocently, “All I’m saying is that the triangle’s over and you’re single.”

Alice interrupted before Lucas could respond, “All right, you two can finish this after we get these pizzas in the oven. I’d like to have dinner at a reasonable time.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Maya and Lucas mumbled, but when she wasn’t looking they stuck their tongues out at each other, which made them both laugh.

Lucas’s father arrived home just before dinner. Alice was a nutritionist for the local school district, and many times she would work half days or work from home, but Jeff worked at an accounting firm and the days were often long. Maya figured that was one of the reasons Lucas was closer with his mother, but also Alice was just a lot easier to talk to. If Maya was honest, Jeff kind of intimidated her. He was kind, but strict. He and Lucas often butted heads which led to Maya listening to Lucas’s rants about what he _really_ wanted to say to his dad. Maya knew Lucas loved his father, and he definitely respected him, but they didn’t seem to have much of a relationship outside of that which made Maya sad for her friend.

As they were eating, Lucas was trying to convince his dad to let him and Zay go to Chicago for the weekend for Farkle and Smackle’s science decathlon competition, “Zay and I have always wanted to go and we’ll get to support Farkle—“

“You’re a high school sophomore Lucas, you cannot travel to another state by yourself.” Jeff said as he cut himself some pieces from the pizza that Alice made.

“I traveled to Texas by myself all the time in middle school.”

“Your grandparents were there to supervise you.”

“Sir, we’ll be staying with the team as volunteers to help them set up. There will be plenty of supervision.” Maya could tell Lucas was working hard to check his tone.

“Maybe, but I don’t know any of these chaperones, and they don’t know you. Their focus will be on the team.”

“Yes sir, but—“

“Lucas,” Alice cut in. “Not at the table.”

Mrs. Friar had a rule about no arguing at the dinner table. She had reminded Maya and Lucas of this enough that, at first, Maya had thought their bickering was the reason for the rule. But after a few dinners at the Friar’s, she quickly realized that the rule was a result of exactly the kind of scene that was taking place right now.

“Sorry, mom,” Lucas mumbled, staring down at his plate. Maya could tell he was disappointed. She had heard him complain a few times about how they were so much stricter on him here than they were in Texas. And while she knew he took responsibility for his behavior in Texas and understood why they wanted to keep a closer eye on him, he also wished that they would notice how much he had changed, and start to trust him again. Maya used to think that his “Lucas the Good” act was to impress Riley, but now she knew better. He was trying to impress his parents.

“So, Maya,” Mr. Friar changed the subject, “Lucas told us Riley was in town this weekend. I’m sure you were very excited about that.”

“Yes, sir,” Maya responded, happy for the shift in conversation. “It was nice to see her after so long.”

“Was this the first visit since she moved?” Mr. Friar asked, his tone surprised.

“Yes, sir. She wanted to visit as soon as they left, but it was a big move and I think her parents wanted her to settle in and accept her new home.”

“I understand that,” Mr. Friar said. Maya noticed Lucas’s jaw tense at his father’s pointed reference to Lucas’s first year in New York. “And what about you? Still trying to convince your parents to let you visit her there?”

He smiled as he asked, meaning the question to be light-hearted. Maya knew he was drawing a comparison between her and Lucas wanting to go to Chicago. But the truth was that Maya wanted to go to Chicago, too. She had always wanted to visit their art museum, and she knew that her mom wouldn’t have a problem with the supervision. But Maya hadn’t asked because she had to work. She was saving up every penny she could make in hopes that three years from now she could afford to go to a good art school. Spending some of the money she’d already saved on a trip to Chicago was out of the question, not to mention a plane ticket to London. Especially now that they had a baby on the way and would be moving soon.

She didn’t say any of this, though. She was much too embarrassed, and didn’t want to make Mr. Friar feel uncomfortable when he had clearly meant to be kind. Instead she just smiled and nodded her head, and the conversation moved on.

* * *

“He’s so controlling!”

Maya was sitting on the fire escape outside of Lucas’s window, legs swinging over the sidewalk below. Lucas, of course, was not sitting but pacing back and forth on the two feet of space next to Maya. She’d known the rant was coming, but unlike other days she didn’t have the energy to sympathize, “Mm.”

“I’m serious,” Lucas stopped and look down at her. “He has no reason for saying no except that he doesn’t trust me! What else do I have to do?”

Maya shrugged, “Get a job?” She just said the first thing that came to her head, and hadn’t really meant anything by it except to convince Lucas that she was listening, but once she said it she realized it was probably true.

“Yeah,” Lucas said half-heartedly, not wanting to dismiss her suggestion but clearly not considering it either. He finally sat down next to her. “Zay’ll still go. For Smackle.”

Maya nodded. She hated when Lucas was in a bad mood, even if she did think he was being a bit of a brat at the moment. “Hey! You can keep me company.”

She offered him a smile that he didn’t see. He was too busy staring at a fixed point in the distance—like the key to convincing his dad was hidden somewhere in the New York City skyline, if only he could find it. “Right, sit at the counter at Topanga’s while you work like it’s just another weekend except our friends are having fun without me.”

That did it. Maya wasn’t annoyed anymore, she was pissed. Her smile turned into a glare, but it took him a minute to even notice. When he finally did, confusion flickered across his eyes and Maya stood up. She marched into his room and grabbed her school bag, glad that they hadn’t yet begun the homework they were planning to do and there wasn’t much to pack up.

“Maya?” Lucas was struggling to get up quickly, his legs were much longer than Maya’s and were getting tangled in the bars of the fire escape.

Lucas was finally standing when Maya turned on him, “Don’t you think I want to go too?”

He froze.

“Don’t you think it bothers me that all of my friends are planning a fun weekend in Chicago and I’m going to be working ‘like it’s just another weekend?’” She exaggerated the last part, throwing it back in his face.

“Maya, I—”

“Missing out on the fun my friends are having while I’m at work _is_ just another weekend for me, Lucas.” She stormed toward him, hoping he’d move out of her way enough for her to leave through the fire escape. She didn’t want to march her anger through Alice’s peaceful home.

“I didn’t mean—“

He wasn’t moving so she stopped only inches from his face, startling him into silence. Even with their height difference, she knew how to intimidate him. “I don’t want to speak to you right now. Please move.”

Wordlessly, he shifted his shoulders just enough to let her crawl back through the window and down the fire escape.

Her feet landed on the ground and she realized she had no idea where to go. She knew that Shawn and Katy wouldn’t mind if she came home early, but she didn't want to interrupt their evening. They deserved it. 

How had this day gone so wrong? It was supposed to be a good day, filled with comforting feelings and confidence. Instead she just felt ignored. It was a bitter taste in her mouth that was all too familiar, reminding her of the worst moments of the triangle.

_“That’s what you like about me…”_

_“No it’s not, Maya. I don’t think it is.”_

The words barreled out of Maya’s memory and into the forefront of her mind, along with the sinking feeling she’d felt when he’d said them. When she realized that Riley had actually been right about her identity crisis, and Lucas’s “feelings” for her weren’t really for _her_.

She thought she’d buried that hurt. They had moved on, become friends again, and it was much better this way. So why had she gotten so mad at Lucas? He hadn’t meant to be mean, and it’s not like she had ever told him that she wanted to go to Chicago. But it wasn’t Chicago that bothered her, it was the dismissal of spending a weekend with her instead of the rest of their friends. There was nothing that she could offer him, no fun to be had here without Zay and Farkle. He’d rather have left her to be alone. And now that Maya pinpointed the problem, she found herself getting angry all over again.

So let him be confused. Let him sit in his room and wonder why she was so upset and why she’d never mentioned it to him before. Mr. Perfect could do with a little agony.

Maya realized she had been walking with no purpose, and found herself in Bryant Park. She sighed and took a seat on a nearby bench, watching the park carousel spin slowly in front of her. At this time on a Tuesday there were only three kids aboard, and an older woman sitting on the stationary bench. Maya smiled, she always liked seeing older people on a carousel. It was one of those things in life that made you stop for a minute and think about why they were there.

The ride slowed to a stop and the passengers disembarked. One kid tugged at his mother’s jacket, begging for another turn, but she insisted that it was getting dark and was time to go home. There wasn’t a line, so Maya jumped up and ran to the gate, digging a few dollars out of the pocket of her book bag. She was the only one riding this time, and walked around the landing, looking for the perfect horse. The carousel started moving before she had chosen, but she soon found a black horse decked out in a way that made her believe it had been a war hero in a past life. She hoisted herself up as the horse descended and watched the city around her fly by. 

Up and down. Round and round. The child’s mother had been right, it was getting dark and the nearby shops and restaurants had turned on their outdoor lighting. The warm bulbs mixed with the streetlights, casting the park in a golden glow. It was a different gold from the 5 o’clock golden hour because it was contrasted by the twilight sky, making it feel less like a fairytale and more like a music video. Maya unfocused her eyes as she spun past, taking in the blur of light and color. Up and down. Round and round.

When the ride finally ended, Maya was tired. She climbed off the platform and exited past the ticket booth where the attendant was locking up. She must have gotten the last ride of the evening. She yawned and checked the time on her phone—only 7:02. And still no text from Riley. She probably should have called when Lucas mentioned it, but it was too late now.

Instead, she typed another number into her phone, the number of the only person she knew who wouldn’t ask questions about her sour mood.

“Hey… can I stay at your house tonight? … Thanks, I’ll be there soon.”

She felt bad about inviting herself over on a school night, so she decided to pick up some mint chocolate chip ice cream on the way over as a ‘thank you.’ As she left the corner grocery store, pint of ice cream swinging against her knee in the plastic bag she carried, Maya pulled out her phone and shot her mom a text.

**Decided to spend the night with Smackle. See you tomorrow :)**


End file.
